Saturday, February 27, 2016

"Take it like a Man" (2005)-Track 10."I Have a Dream"

Track #10


Lisa starts talking about her dreams about being with blacks and then it becomes a Dr.Martin Luther King borrowing:
"I have a dream", hers being to get more African Americans.

She then turns to an audience member and asks if the girl's got a daughter Tiffany, a baby diamond, or son Car insurance or
baby Lexus, driving an escort (whcih resurfaced in her 2009 book "Chocolate Please",done during the year of her Comedy
Central special/Warner Bros.Music WMG CD "LONG LIVE the QUEEN") (get it?)

I am self-named on this blog after the horse costar of the fa mily show Gumby and I can guarantee for every SICK joke that Miss Lisa
tells that she tells CLEAN jokes (anyone wanan do a "dirty joke:horse fell in the mud"/"clean joke:horse took a bath" joke? Anyone DARE?)
for the children, then she tells some that tujrn out to be dirty ones set on an elevator.

Overall a pretty funny bit.

Friday, February 26, 2016

Watch a LL Roast!

No, dear readers, not a roast of her buit of Trump..

This is the first video to be uploaded here...:)

Lisa roast!

Saturday, February 20, 2016

"Take it like a Man" (2005)-Track 9. "My Mother, My Man and my Children"

Track #9


Here we have near seven minutes to review for an entire post, and it's one of the funniest things ever done by Lisa, and shows again her (at near 3 min) talent for sound effects..

She starts out apologizing for her jokes about her mother, whom according to her hates Lisa's boyfriend, who, being black, has a JOB--he ain't Hispanic.

She says that she "doesn't cheat",has a good lookin' fifty year old black guys with kids...and jokes also include blacks banging refrigerators and her new Ford F100 that, through her voice effects as
described, can make racist sounds.

Afterwards the conversation switches to talks of gay celebrities, where she roasts (without them being ther,e the best kind as she'll tell anyone) gay celebrities, Clay Aiken being particularly mentioned,
as well as Rubuen Stoddard of the earlier "Amrerican Idol" seasons, then the talk turns to an uppity white woman calling a raido show where Ms.Lampanelli had been guest-starring.

"No one loves black people MORE than Lisa Lampanelli..No one loves black people more OFTEN than Lisa Lampanelli". A funny if totally predictable "black people across the border" joke comes up.

We get back to a few more gay jokes and kids (in Lampanelli audience) gags and then mixed with race jokes to end the bit, the second longest (to the finale) on this album and show.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Four more from "Take it like a Man"(2005)

Forgot about doing this on Saturday and it was Valentine's day..and some of these are short, sohhhhhhh

LL lovers I will post these from Comedy's (and Comedy Central's and Standup's) Loveable Queen of Mean, the Donna Rickles, first CD:

"The Train to Browntown"

Track #5


Starts out with Lisa Lampanelli talking to the audience about staring at people and quotes women calling each
other that unmentionable B word.

Highlights include her asking someone if they're hispanic, and then facetiously ordering them to
keep their hands out of others purses. She also addresses a married man as a little Hispanic husband

She does a good, brief, 1:39 length job at roasts...

"Pillow Talk" Track #6


No Doris Day talk, but lots of talk about athlete's foot in the shower. Lisa talks of being paroled to an audience member. The show
satarts to have some more of Miss Lampanelli's weird sounds and for the first time her play on the inevitable "Once you go black/
you never go back" catchphrase, already much parodied and lampooned much more recently in 2010's "Vampires Suck" appears
(in which movie the phrase was: "Once you go bat/you never go bak". Here it's "Once you go black you're gonna use your crack".

A little later an extremely inspired play on a legendary princess tale appears, Strok-a-hontas, presumably due to a Native American
woman's appearance. Her humor then turns later to Peeing in the shower which is taking this in a real off the wall fashion..

Any way, now with 4:20 minutes, we now get to have a much longer bit of comedy bits than in the last one before.

Next is  "Men Are Good & Women are Beautiful", a phrase mentioned in the following and last.
Track #7


This bit starts out with Lisa talking about private stuff, and doing a play on the old television and radio advertisements for Oscar Meyer Wieners
"your baloney has a name".

Here Lisa sharts mentioning her Mexican friend Hector who reappears in her final monologue.

Talk about Rubbish and Jungle also appears and makes this pretty good..if just over two minutes

And finally
"It's Funny Because It's True"Track #8


Liosa starts out with calling both men and women beautiful and telling her friend Hector to get "hot sauce on your chimichanga" and mentions the bits title.

THe real big funny stuff here comes when she asks how could men take their unmentionable and put it behind the womens headlights and makes a sick-playing
(you can guess what it is) sound effect.

Saturday, February 6, 2016

Fat Girl Interrupted..!

Right now I wish I were in make that Westport, Connecicut, as Lisa Lampenelli (as announced on her Facebook) has just
premiered her new comedy play which she did most of the material, but this is not just some one-woman show as several others are in the cast,
and with the title of her "Chocolate please"(2009) chapter, itself a spoof of 1999's "Girl Interrupted"...:

It humorously deals with fat just like "Vagina Monologues" does for vaginial issues, it has four female characters intteracting with each other on the issue.

25 Powers Court, Westport, Conn.

"Take It Like A Man"(2005)-Track 4."The Train to Brown Town"

Track #4


Lisa and her life in Brown Town...

Ever wonder what a town full of black guys be like?

Lisa Lampanelli always did love black and brown guys.,.In this she talks about getting the perfect such colored guy and being on
the train guessed it...Brown Town.

SHe starts out about discussing "disgusting, ugly, black fags"
and getting on, per title, "the train to downtown beeeyotch".

The part about "Take me Brown Town" as mentioned (expletive deleted) is said in a typical "pseudo-cranky" screech voice
that I find particuarly amusing....and works even better as a audio thing rather than seeing h

Riffing on the old Coke ad
"Just for the taste of it"..

She goes on to discussing never buying a new car again..and a la her book "Chocolate Please" black female names

(In her book, pub.2009, she recalled googling for the name "Shanequia" but then getting "Did you mean that witch(not exact word) Sharon?"

Again, this being her, brown can mean something disgusting that shall be AWOL totally and completely on this blog.

and Nine and a half year of blacks is the coup de grace, the piece de ristance for this Lampanelli track.

Takea bow, LL.

A lot of vewyr goioid timing that really comes off well as a CD, even more so than onscreen or live.