Saturday, May 28, 2016

"Long Live The Queen"(2009)-Track #3:"My Favorite People"

Roasts Remembered

My Second Favorite People



Here Orientals of every kind of type and size get the spotlight. A girl; named Moira?(Irish though) gets asked a few questions then this
classic Lampanelli Asian joke.."Once you go Asian, you know math is equation", calling the race her second favorite people as in the track's
title behind everybody else and that she's not racist as some think. (Still she prefers her coffee black like her man, a la that old Airplane (1980)
quote, NOT yellow like her number 1, thus no serious Asian business).

SHe concludes with ususal; comic epitets..

Monday, May 23, 2016

"Long Live The Queen"(2009)-Track #2:"Lawful Entry"

Lawful Entry



Hispanics are the next topics and of course bountifully abundunt in these shows.

As far as she's concerned, she's not jumpedwhich is felny to her...Lisa says that she's found the unicorn, asking questions like are "you a border hopper or are you a river
swimmer?"very inquisitively and with that amusin g and even endearingly harsh voice..
...very funny but then (even for her) makes a tasteless self-wish for rape aftershow.

It really improves when she
makes Miss Saigon and Hello Kitty jokes to some others...Asians having small unmentionables.

Now...who's the Swiss Army Knife of minorities. Flipino's...they have Hispanic skin and Asian eyes (avoiding string words)

She gets to the end by a comment about Santa Rosa, California being where certain people know their place.   Some of these
sound more personal in nature than others but are pretty good for afficianos of this material (Lampanelliados? :) OFFICIALLY JUST
coined a TERM there!!)

Sunday, May 22, 2016

"Long Live The Queen"(2009)-Track #1:"The Fag Whisperer"

The Fag Whisperer



Introduced yet again to "Comedy's Lovable Queen of Mean, Miss Lisa Lampanelli", we now hear Lisa's idea of a whsiperer a la all the
horse whisperers, or Jennifer Love Huge Tits's "The Ghost Whisperer" on ABC-TV, as we hear of Lisa Lampanelli's incredible advantures
of connectioning with "fags", or gays, by whispering a la the Horse Whisperers, (whose 1998 movie introduced us, the world, to none
other than Scarlett Johannsenn!) saying: "See how much the faggots love me, you heard of the HORSE WHISPERER------I AM THE

Along the way she then notes that everyone present's black, referring to one such as "hot chocolate daddy", noting "her going down
faster than Lehman Bros.? then makes a vanilla comment. then talks to Les, an auideince member (obviously Black).

Lisa really seems to take very great pleasure in delivering the wisecrack about being the fag whisperer.

"Dirty Girl"(2007)-Track #14:"Good TImes & Good Night"

Good Times & Good Night



The final bit starts with Lisa admitted that she's been msitaken for a Jewish girl, saying someone can lick it, stick it, and then talks gay people,
 apologizing for AIDS, then saying that it's a good diet!

Nobody likes a diet, she says, expcet her going on Jenny Craig and losing twenty pounds, and does some fat jokes with a racial flavor....
fat chinese, fat Jews, fat blacks, fat Hispanics. She loves the gays, hope that they stay together, "once you go queer, you stretch out your rear".

One of the Japanese girls there is named "Suzuki". LL makes a motorcycle sound as a result;.

And with that "Dirty Girl" (2007) comes to an end.

NEXT:"Long Live the Quuen!"(2009)

Friday, May 13, 2016

"Dirty Girl"(2007)-Tracks #11-13:"Looking for Love","Hummers for Heroes", & "Good Sports & Hecklers"

Looking For Love


Sine 11-13 are conviently short, they'll be reviewed all in this review.

Here we go with title indicating what LL is really into, what she's been doing....looking for love.

In all the wrong places..LOL.

But not for sex? This set has a number of refences to black guys--actors,singers-----and it thus turns out to b e must listen for any fan of Lisa Lampanelli especially wanting to hear her talk her m outh off about black guys.

She isn't really looking for sex, just for love, and went to Kinko's printing, or really, it's Kinky, as Lisa gets "rear-ended",by a black guy , a chocolate "daddy" whom Lisa Lampanelli com[ares to rapper DMX and Denzel Washington combined.

She does another creepy exercise with her voice mentioning her affairs, wanting a white guy to pay the bills, a black guy to [bleep] then a Hispanic to clean up afterwards.

She plans to devote four hundred bucks to a certain black group with a five letter name, and ;promises to open the eyes of a little Ethopian's face. Ends with a Fear Factor reference and saying someone in the audience has something in her mouth.

 Hummers for Heores



If Lisa Lamapnelli is anything besides insulting, it's, like many of us, supportive of our barve American Heroes.

That includes our soldiers.

And does Lisa have the present for thme.

Continuing a theme from the last few bits, Lisa Lampanerlli ;promises something for our brave soldiers....Hummers for Heroes..every "hooers and homosexual" comes to
send these.."I'm not gonna lie to're  a great crowd". ,
 Good Sports and Hecklers



"LIsa Lampanelli Is no liar"(again, not that she IS) She urges all of us to clap for the people...first the black guy....then the Hispanic,", quotes the 2004 film "Napoleon Dynmite" with the now famous "Vote for Pedro" quote...due to her seeing a Hispanic

After this applause festival we then hear Lisa saying some cracks like "I like your show..:)". Then she discusses Arabs, "once you go Arab then you ride a camel", another of those variaitons but no rhyme.A very good intereaction bit from Lisa.

We now go to the CD finale.....

Saturday, May 7, 2016

"Dirty Girl"(2007)-Track #10:"Inside The Business"

Inside The Business



Lisa takes on another group of icons, saying Ryan Seacrest is too gay, then mentions American Idol icons--judge Simon Cowell, assistant judge and former 80s/90s star Paula Abdul, and then
mentions none other than Howard Stern, and her radio appearances.

Her opinions on "Straight Up"et cetera et cetera et cetera singer/dancer/choregrapher/etc. etc.etc.Paul Abdul:

Then a very unusual things comes up, and I've nevever ever heard the use of this below:

She then mentions an unusual topic---wanting a fluffer..meaning carnal adventures before going on a show, let's just say...and she wants it chocolate...

Most of her perfomance pretty well done, and with her usual horse laugh and squeals..(am I beginning to be too much like her, as I warned at the start of this
here blog, I can do this as well...>:))

Well, with that done, review of next track.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

"Dirty Girl"(2007-Track #9:"Andy and Courtney"

Andy and Courtney



The Andy and Courtney referred to here are comic Andy Dick and Kurt Cobain(1967-1994)survivor/wife/altnerative grunge rocker in her own right, Courtney Love,
with Lisa saying that she suffered being placed next to A ndy Dick, then she and her mom suffered the humilation of watching Courtney Love. Saying that she herself,
Lisa, never ever won a "freakin'" beauty context, Lisa then claims being much more beautiful than "Courtney Freakin' Love".

Andy then "grabbed Lisa by the neck and kissed him for five minutes"...but she's still surprised at Courtney Love being ablre tpo lick herself.

She then mentions Pam Anderson....Paris Hilton.,.,.and BEA ARTHUR!

What else CAN I say---she just gets better.