Sunday, January 31, 2016

"Take it Like a Man" (2005):Track 3:"Take it Like a Man"



(title track)

This one, like the title suggests, has Lisa reassuring that what she does is just a roast and guys, particularly, should not be
offended ("take it like" know the saying and title).

"People should be able to take a joke...take it like a man"!

"I called a guy and he says
[expletive deleted] you [rhymes with witch"

One real funny thing is a reference to curry being stronger thana deodorant, then
quotes the old "strong enough for a man but made for a woman" Secret(tm/r) deodorant
advertising campaign

A little later near the end she refers to chicken wings and her friend Hector (often men tioned through hewr act on this CD)

She acknowledges liking guys who can take a joke, in keeping with the title of this bit, also mentioning girls in relaiton to this bit.

This is mayb e a quite important and crucial track since it acknowledges that Lisa Lampanelli's stuff is meant in fun, to take it like a man
(or woman..but mostly of all, like a man!)

Since then, Lisa Lampanelli is NOT the QUEEN of MEAN but the LOVABLE queen of MEAN...actually COMEDY's LOVABLE QUEEN of MEAN.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

"Take It Like a Man" (2005):Track 2: "Hector, My Parents & Soccer Moms"


Track #2


With the Intro done, here is an instant funny bit that gets "Take it like A Man" under way.

Lisa starts here with the following:

"Love that little (nasty word for Latin)"

"Once you go Hispanic your mom and dad start to Panic".

Hector is a f riend that gets mentioned a lot in Lisa Lampanelli bits and is a target for her fuinny stuff.

Her basic topics here are on her parents and soccer moms, which she gives and imaginative description of.

The rhymes, like the "Once you go black you never go back", already turned on its head a lot (2010's "Vampires Suck", for one, just put in "bat" for "black")
will get a lot more twisted through this and the four CD's and specials after.

"Take it Like a Man" (2005):Track 1: "Intro"


Track #1


This first track on any LL album has the obligatory welcome.

Lisa mentions her longtime Hispanic buddy Hector (who turns up in her later CDs/shows)

Among the highlights:
"Even though you're kind of a black white guy.."

"The bigger the pushin'"

"Once you go black the cops will attack".

Te jokes are the kind that you'll find..and enjoy if you are a fan or wanting to be
(or otherwise retch at ..)

So, not much to say, just another intro..

It's a sufficient way to start off the very first of comedy's great, loveably, self-described queen of mean.....Turnbull, Connetticut's very own

At 1:38, it's decent enoguh to start off the first CD.

"Chocolate Please' (Book, 2009)

One of the main goals, here at least, is to give chronological and track by track reviews of the Lisa Lampanelli soundtrack (from the TV sepcials) DVD from, as it currently
stands, 2005's "Take it like A MAN!" to 2011's "Tough Love', and we plan to do that, one each Friday, just to not use up all of this blog...>!!

But anyway here is a short review of 2009's Chocolate Please, the book about MIss Lampanelli
and her rise to fat,m and skinny stardom..

The book mentions, in brief, her growing up in Conneticut, a young Catholic girl sharing a not quite so holy
experience with her mom, even relating on page 95 a story about her sister and her mom that's both funny
and shocking, and which I won't give away here.

She then gets to mentioning her roasts and her own personal
...that's per-son-a-l reivews, -- on black names, babysitters (hot ones are best!) and even gets near the end
to her roasting beloved folk singer Joan Baez just for popularizing Kum-Ba-Ya (you know.."(insert sentence)...
KUM-ba-ya (insert another sentence) KUM-ba-ya..etc.

CHOCOLATE....CHOCOLATE..for candy that candy we love. Lisa's world though,
means African-American (the whole the way that I just wrote that one is in loving tribute to her
definitions of everything things for various ethinic a BOOK..(blacks) is something a judge
throws at you...

So without further the next one..


Or...Intr-r-roduck-tion (as Miss LL-as she calls herself-would call say it-she loves that faux French)

Hello folks...

A thing to be considered:
An INSULT is to make one feel angry.

A ROAST (the spoken type) is to good-naturedly insult one of your friends or favorites and they SHOULD NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL outta it.

So says, or would have said, Comedy's Loveable Queen of Mean, Miss LISA LAMPANELLI, born on July 19, 1961, in Trumbull, Conetticut.

Now, for the unitiated (as if there are STILL unitiated!) LISA LAMPANELLI is a fat blonde east Italian broad who has a horrid voice and a razor
sharp tongue. She also smells like a tuna casserole.

Or meat for Sylvester Stallone to box In Rocky while Talia Shire looks on. When I think of
Lisa Lampanelli I think of a sick person. When I think of Lisa Lampanelli I think of a pig.'

And coming from me, Pokey, Gumby'sd hore, this blog seems out-of-character, but this is a roast and we only roast the ones we love...

Lisa Lampanelli stinks and when she opens up her big trap she stinks (in other words she's very funny and I think EVERONE might secretly agree...)

Besides schoring humor, Lisa has acting roles, and we need to find an IMPORTAND acting role. Even if a relative small one. In 2008, she appeared in
"Drillbit Taylor" with Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann and others. She played a bully's mom, identified as (despite no last name officialy given to the bully,Ronnie), Mrs.Lampanelli!

Back to her insult humor...

Nothing is sacred..scared, another issue.

Anyway, actually, that's her type of humor. All of it is just in fun!

Lisa Lampanelli did not really become big till she was around 40 in 2000 when a guy (you may know him as Howard Stern) hired Lisa for his
tremendous nationally syndicated radio comedy show.

That guy (you may know him as Howard Stern) became one of the main conduits (not
to be confused with anything dirty) helped LL (as she calls herself) to her success.

You can checkr 2009 book, "Chocolate Please", for more of it (

Oh. And the chocolate she is referring to is black guys, That radio guy (you may know him as Howard Stern) knew it. That guy (you may..oh,
you get the idea!) had some black guys on there.

As for Lisa, she's b ecome a longtime cable TV and Las Vegas standup putdown (new coinage!) comic, and made TV specials/CDS/DVDS that we'll
take a look at.

Over the next year or so, I'll start this fourth blog of mine, with reviews of each of Lisa Lampanelli's specials/CD's from 2005-2011

Reviews start Sunday first then Friday or Saturday thereafter, stinking fans (I refrain from the obscene aprts of her dialogue....)

2005 "Take it Like a Man"

2007 "Dirty Girl!"

2009 "Long Live the Queen" (Her book was published that year. See above.)

2011 "Tough Love" (which I bought from Amazon)

Kind of like mine and others's animaiton/"TV blogbs where each episode is reviewed. And of course, post-Tough love DVD/specials tracks and later books
and appearances ESPECIALLY if (like at Vegas) I get a chance to see them (I may put up blogs to other comics like Phil Hendrie and Miranda Sings, both
due for some..)