"Take it like a Man" (2005)-Track 12."Stereotypes"

Track #12

7:49

By far the largest track, the only one longer than  "#9.My Mother, My Man, and my Children", this starts out with Lisa yet against mentioning Hector, this time as one of the great sports for having a
good sense of humour about being racially roasted.

She's not just a comic (in this), she's also a motivational speaker.

Her books?

I'll give ya somethin to cry about

I'm okay you're not

Men are from mars, sissies from venus


Her fund?
The Lisa Lampanelli United Negro expletivies deleted fund

Becuase 12 inches is a terrible thing to waste.

Every walk of life, she notes, she needs to be in, and the n word with the R on the end cannot be used.

The word? Neighbor.

She then cracks wise wwith indidvual members of the audiuence to the end and that, therefore,
winds up this review of "Take it like a Man"-the very first major Lisa Lampanelli video/CD (titles refer only to the CDs.)

This, therefore, completes and therefore ends the very first Lisa Lampanelli CD review on this blow.









"Dirty Girl" from 2007 will be reviewed next.

Stay tuned, stinky and sick Lamapnelli friendday, and until next weekend, hopefully Saturday morning for another review and of the second
CD.

"Take it like a Man"(2005)-Track 11. "Kobe & Cable"

Track #11



3:59



Disclaimer: I do not at all agree with the following joke material (see below) from Lisa on Kobe Bryant,but that said:


Anyway, having just mentionede blacks in her previous ("#10, I Have a Dream") just reviewed bit,
she mentions that women raped by fallen basketball champ (and very good one originally) Kobe Bryant,
or the LA Lakers 24, shoudl enjoy it since "did you ever get a load of him"

However, despite the open disclaimer:...I enjoy Lisa L. but the bit nearly becomes a bit too shocking, but it's in fun and I can still enjoy this..Al Sharpton is then mentioned
as being far worse.. but the issue of rape tends even for me, as a Lisa Lampanelli fan, not even for her to be enitre commendable, especially in 2005, a few years after it had taken place..
overall not entirely a bad bit..."Did YOU get a load of that HOT SEXY KOBE BRYANT, ladies?" Yeah, Wendy Williams wannabe...:rolleyes" .


 This is the first of a few bits (2009's "Long Live The Queen"'s finale "My Reputation" has it too with the second title word) where Lisa takes a word
that ends in "-ion" and then takes a French approach for laughs,"EducatioN" being the case.

"Take it like a Man" (2005)-Track 10."I Have a Dream"

Track #10

4:28

Lisa starts talking about her dreams about being with blacks and then it becomes a Dr.Martin Luther King borrowing:
"I have a dream", hers being to get more African Americans.

She then turns to an audience member and asks if the girl's got a daughter Tiffany, a baby diamond, or son Car insurance or
baby Lexus, driving an escort (whcih resurfaced in her 2009 book "Chocolate Please",done during the year of her Comedy
Central special/Warner Bros.Music WMG CD "LONG LIVE the QUEEN") (get it?)

I am self-named on this blog after the horse costar of the fa mily show Gumby and I can guarantee for every SICK joke that Miss Lisa
tells that she tells CLEAN jokes (anyone wanan do a "dirty joke:horse fell in the mud"/"clean joke:horse took a bath" joke? Anyone DARE?)
for the children, then she tells some that tujrn out to be dirty ones set on an elevator.

Overall a pretty funny bit.

"Take it like a Man" (2005)-Track 9. "My Mother, My Man and my Children"

Track #9

6:49

Here we have near seven minutes to review for an entire post, and it's one of the funniest things ever done by Lisa, and shows again her (at near 3 min) talent for sound effects..

She starts out apologizing for her jokes about her mother, whom according to her hates Lisa's boyfriend, who, being black, has a JOB--he ain't Hispanic.

She says that she "doesn't cheat",has a good lookin' fifty year old black guys with kids...and jokes also include blacks banging refrigerators and her new Ford F100 that, through her voice effects as
described, can make racist sounds.

Afterwards the conversation switches to talks of gay celebrities, where she roasts (without them being ther,e the best kind as she'll tell anyone) gay celebrities, Clay Aiken being particularly mentioned,
as well as Rubuen Stoddard of the earlier "Amrerican Idol" seasons, then the talk turns to an uppity white woman calling a raido show where Ms.Lampanelli had been guest-starring.

"No one loves black people MORE than Lisa Lampanelli..No one loves black people more OFTEN than Lisa Lampanelli". A funny if totally predictable "black people across the border" joke comes up.


We get back to a few more gay jokes and kids (in Lampanelli audience) gags and then mixed with race jokes to end the bit, the second longest (to the finale) on this album and show.

Four more from "Take it like a Man"(2005)

Forgot about doing this on Saturday and it was Valentine's day..and some of these are short, sohhhhhhh

LL lovers I will post these from Comedy's (and Comedy Central's and Standup's) Loveable Queen of Mean, the Donna Rickles, first CD:

"The Train to Browntown"

Track #5

1:39

Starts out with Lisa Lampanelli talking to the audience about staring at people and quotes women calling each
other that unmentionable B word.

Highlights include her asking someone if they're hispanic, and then facetiously ordering them to
keep their hands out of others purses. She also addresses a married man as a little Hispanic husband

She does a good, brief, 1:39 length job at roasts...



"Pillow Talk" Track #6

4:19

No Doris Day talk, but lots of talk about athlete's foot in the shower. Lisa talks of being paroled to an audience member. The show
satarts to have some more of Miss Lampanelli's weird sounds and for the first time her play on the inevitable "Once you go black/
you never go back" catchphrase, already much parodied and lampooned much more recently in 2010's "Vampires Suck" appears
(in which movie the phrase was: "Once you go bat/you never go bak". Here it's "Once you go black you're gonna use your crack".

A little later an extremely inspired play on a legendary princess tale appears, Strok-a-hontas, presumably due to a Native American
woman's appearance. Her humor then turns later to Peeing in the shower which is taking this in a real off the wall fashion..

Any way, now with 4:20 minutes, we now get to have a much longer bit of comedy bits than in the last one before.


Next is  "Men Are Good & Women are Beautiful", a phrase mentioned in the following and last.
Track #7

2:45

This bit starts out with Lisa talking about private stuff, and doing a play on the old television and radio advertisements for Oscar Meyer Wieners
"your baloney has a name".

Here Lisa sharts mentioning her Mexican friend Hector who reappears in her final monologue.

Talk about Rubbish and Jungle also appears and makes this pretty good..if just over two minutes

And finally
"It's Funny Because It's True"Track #8


2:06

Liosa starts out with calling both men and women beautiful and telling her friend Hector to get "hot sauce on your chimichanga" and mentions the bits title.

THe real big funny stuff here comes when she asks how could men take their unmentionable and put it behind the womens headlights and makes a sick-playing
(you can guess what it is) sound effect.

"Take It Like A Man"(2005)-Track 4."The Train to Brown Town"

Track #4

Time:2:00


Lisa and her life in Brown Town...

Ever wonder what a town full of black guys be like?

Lisa Lampanelli always did love black and brown guys.,.In this she talks about getting the perfect such colored guy and being on
the train to...yes...you guessed it...Brown Town.

SHe starts out about discussing "disgusting, ugly, black fags"
and getting on, per title, "the train to downtown beeeyotch".

The part about "Take me Brown Town" as mentioned (expletive deleted) is said in a typical "pseudo-cranky" screech voice
that I find particuarly amusing....and works even better as a audio thing rather than seeing h


Riffing on the old Coke ad
"Just for the taste of it"..

She goes on to discussing never buying a new car again..and a la her book "Chocolate Please" black female names
---Shanequia
---Placenta

(In her book, pub.2009, she recalled googling for the name "Shanequia" but then getting "Did you mean that witch(not exact word) Sharon?"

Again, this being her, brown can mean something disgusting that shall be AWOL totally and completely on this blog.

and Nine and a half year of blacks is the coup de grace, the piece de ristance for this Lampanelli track.

Takea bow, LL.

A lot of vewyr goioid timing that really comes off well as a CD, even more so than onscreen or live.

"Take it Like a Man" (2005):Track 3:"Take it Like a Man"

#3

2:12

(title track)

This one, like the title suggests, has Lisa reassuring that what she does is just a roast and guys, particularly, should not be
offended ("take it like"..ahhh...you know the saying and title).

"People should be able to take a joke...take it like a man"!

"I called a guy and he says
[expletive deleted] you [rhymes with witch"

One real funny thing is a reference to curry being stronger thana deodorant, then
quotes the old "strong enough for a man but made for a woman" Secret(tm/r) deodorant
advertising campaign

A little later near the end she refers to chicken wings and her friend Hector (often men tioned through hewr act on this CD)

She acknowledges liking guys who can take a joke, in keeping with the title of this bit, also mentioning girls in relaiton to this bit.

This is mayb e a quite important and crucial track since it acknowledges that Lisa Lampanelli's stuff is meant in fun, to take it like a man
(or woman..but mostly of all, like a man!)


Since then, Lisa Lampanelli is NOT the QUEEN of MEAN but the LOVABLE queen of MEAN...actually COMEDY's LOVABLE QUEEN of MEAN.

"Take It Like a Man" (2005):Track 2: "Hector, My Parents & Soccer Moms"

HECTOR, MY PARENTS & SOCCER MOMS

Track #2

Time:1:51



With the Intro done, here is an instant funny bit that gets "Take it like A Man" under way.

Lisa starts here with the following:

"Love that little (nasty word for Latin)"

"Once you go Hispanic your mom and dad start to Panic".







Hector is a f riend that gets mentioned a lot in Lisa Lampanelli bits and is a target for her fuinny stuff.

Her basic topics here are on her parents and soccer moms, which she gives and imaginative description of.

The rhymes, like the "Once you go black you never go back", already turned on its head a lot (2010's "Vampires Suck", for one, just put in "bat" for "black")
will get a lot more twisted through this and the four CD's and specials after.

"Take it Like a Man" (2005):Track 1: "Intro"

INTRO


Track #1


1:38


This first track on any LL album has the obligatory welcome.

Lisa mentions her longtime Hispanic buddy Hector (who turns up in her later CDs/shows)

Among the highlights:
"Even though you're kind of a black white guy.."

"The bigger the pushin'"

"Once you go black the cops will attack".

Te jokes are the kind that you'll find..and enjoy if you are a fan or wanting to be
(or otherwise retch at ..)

So, not much to say, just another intro..


It's a sufficient way to start off the very first of comedy's great, loveably, self-described queen of mean.....Turnbull, Connetticut's very own
MISS LISA LAPANELLI (b.7/19/61).

At 1:38, it's decent enoguh to start off the first CD.