"Tough Love" (2011) - Track 10:"The Roast of Worthless Americans"

The Roast of Worthless Americans

#10

9:30







With by far the longest duration of all of the so far LL recordings, we get a very good worthwile attempt by Lampenelli, to roast--not those one likes and has on the dais
but that one HATES and does NOT have on there, so saying that she doesn't always agree and get a say in the matter when it comes to selecting the roasted for a roast,
Lisa Lamapelli starts.

Too much kissing up to folks, Lisa, points out., and more roasting in a hostile way to those who are deemed worthless, in a nutshell, LL feels.

So.......

First the Jersey Shore takes a hit, with the "biggest suspect" Nicole "Snooki" Paloozi getting the big barb about her size.
The whole gang are called the greasiest thing to wash up in Florida and on the Jersey shore."EXACTLY what Miami needs"

Pauly D is so greasy,a pelican tried to BLEEP him.

Snooki, acccording to LL is a traffic cone

Situation? When the name's that the "Siutation" is that he's a freakin' idiot, then Lisa mentions his rap CD.

"Who raised these kids ------------  The REAL HOUSEWIVES of New Jersey?"-Lisa

Then (expectedly) the whole Kardashian Klan takes the next attack, for liking blacks, and the real Housewife
Danielle Staub for being a "hairy cougar" who Lisa, making one of the most outrageous puns I've ever heard yet,
compares to Animal planet,then makes the comparison with her private stuff to Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone)(
punching a punching bag.

We then get criticisms of Lindsay Lohan's driving, Britney Spears and Lady Gaga's motherhood, and finally
Jennifer Aniston's movie, comparable, in Miss Lampanelli's words, to a terrorist bomb rejectn due, explains
Lisa, to Jennifer's total absence of talent.

We also get references to "more kids"(in a uterus) "than the noontime showing of Toy Story 3(which had come out the year before,in 2010).

Finally Lisa explains how grateful she is not to have the say all of this in front of the celebrities involved.
"In comedy", she explains, "we only roast the ones we love. But...it's been my pleasure tonight to finally make
an exception. Thank YOU...I'm Lisa Lampanelli".

And with that, the finale of the latest CD that I've done. (She's since not only done a Best of, which of course won';t be reviewed due to
already existing material making it a best of..but with a title borrowed from a 1996
special, "Back to the Drawing board" later on..)_